If Only
by It'sNotEasyBeingQueen
Summary: Blaine comes home to find Kurt in tears after having watched "In a Heartbeat." Based on Tumblr prompt. See full prompt inside.


If Only

 _A/N: Written for a Tumblr prompt by black-john-lennon: "Blaine comes home to find Kurt on the couch looking at his phone crying. He rushes over, is it Burt? What's going on, why are you crying? And Kurt shows Blaine his phone, he's watching In a Heartbeat. And he's just, they look like us. Imagine if we met as kids? We wouldn't have been alone. Imagine if this had come out when we were kids? Playing in a movie theater before a Disney movie and maybe other kids would have known we were normal. And they watch it again and cry together." This refers, obviously, to the "In a Heartbeat" short film. I know you've seen it. Go watch it again. I'll be here with the tissues._

"Honey, I'm home," Blaine called in his best 1950's-TV-husband, sing-song manner as he entered the apartment he shared with his real-life husband. In a series of moves perfected by habit, he looped his keys on the hook by the door, toed off his leather loafers, and deposited a small grocery bag on the nearby kitchen counter before heading through the open-concept apartment towards the living room. "Sorry I'm a little late, but the lines at the store were terrible. Apparently, everyone decided that today was a good day to…Kurt?"

Blaine's words died on his tongue as he rounded the sofa and caught sight of Kurt. His husband was sitting motionless on the couch staring at the screen of his phone. His face was tear-stained and his eyes were red-rimmed. "Kurt, what's the matter?" he asked, rushing to sit next to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Kurt hadn't responded to Blaine's voice, but the touch seemed to break him free and catch his attention. He looked up from his phone into Blaine's eyes. Blaine's stomach tightened at the depth of emotion he saw there. Immediately, his mind kicked into overdrive, offering up the worst-case scenarios that might have brought on this reaction. _He's holding the phone. Did he get a phone call with bad news? Oh, god. Not Burt…_

"Kurt, tell me, please," he implored.

Kurt's eyes flickered down to his phone and back up again. He held the phone up and showed it to Blaine. The screen was filled with what appeared to be a still-frame of…was that a cartoon?

"Have you seen this?" Kurt asked, his voice cracking as fresh tears welled up. Blaine simply shook his head and Kurt continued. "It's this short film a couple of students did. It's…they're just…and I couldn't help," Kurt faltered and began to cry once more.

Blaine slid his hand around Kurt's shoulder and pulled him close, wrapping his other arm around to engulf him in a hug. He rocked him a little and made shushing sounds to calm him down. "Was it bad? Did somebody make something offensive? People are idiots sometimes, Kurt, you can't..."

He was cut off as Kurt pulled away. "No, no, you don't understand," he said, his voice still wavering. He wiped away a stray tear and sat upright. "Here, watch," he said, tapping the screen a few times and holding the phone out to Blaine.

Soft piano music began to play, followed by the title, "In a Heartbeat." He recognized the title, having heard buzz about it but not really knowing what it was about. Blaine then sat silently for the next four minutes and watched as the sweet story of a young boy and his first crush unfold wordlessly before him. He smiled at the young auburn-haired boy who looked so besottedly at the object of his affections. He slipped his hand into Kurt's when the poor boy's heart was literally torn in two, and tilted his head onto Kurt's shoulder when the dark-haired boy held out his hand to piece it back together. As the closing credits rolled, he paused the video and lowered the hand holding the phone to his lap. He searched for something to say, but the silence was broken by Kurt's whisper.

"They look like us."

"Yeah," Blaine replied, surprised by the catch in his own voice. The animated characters in the story truly did resemble the two of them, the upswept hair and freckles of the one who looked like Kurt to the polo and fitted slacks of the one who looked like Blaine. It was uncanny. He lifted his head from Kurt's shoulder and turned to look at him.

"Blaine, they just – that was like us, you know? Only younger. God, I wish I'd met you when we were that age," he sighed sadly. "Do you know how different it could have been for me, for us?" He tightened his grip on Blaine's hand. "Can you imagine what that would have been like? We wouldn't have been alone, Blaine. We wouldn't have had to deal with coming out by ourselves." His voice quivered again, the tears threatening to return. "I wouldn't have been alone. We - we could have had each other."

"I know, baby, I know," Blaine said, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his husband's cheek.

"And _this_ ," he continued, gesturing toward the screen, "to have had something like this when I was young – can you imagine seeing this like one of the short films before a Pixar movie? It would have been incredible to see someone who was like me up there and see that it was okay to feel the way I did." He paused before finishing in a quieter voice, "Maybe other kids would have seen that it was normal, too."

It was a lot to take in. Blaine wondered if the film makers realized just how big an impact their four-minute animation was going to make. But the story was so true, and honest, and unabashedly heartwarming, he guessed that they knew exactly what the film meant, and that it probably was just as meaningful to them, if not more so. He made a mental note to find out more about them and to send them a message, if he could ever find the words to express himself, that was.

He ran his thumb across the back of Kurt's hand. "I wish we'd met earlier, too, and that junior-high-school Kurt and Blaine had had something like this to help them along." He gazed into Kurt's eyes, which were shining with unshed tears that matched Blaine's. Blaine always felt a little guilty for thinking it, but he couldn't help but feel that Kurt's crystal blue eyes were so stunning when glistening with tears.

He lifted a hand to Kurt's cheek and softly brushed his thumb across it. Leaning in, he captured his lips in a warm, slow kiss, taking his time to give attention to Kurt's upper lip first before claiming his full lower lip, as well. He felt Kurt's body relax next to him as one of Kurt's hands found its way to the back of Blaine's neck and stroked it lightly.

The kiss ended slowly, little pecks tapering off until their eyes fluttered open once more. "I'm sorry that it was so hard for you when you were young," Blaine murmured.

"You too," Kurt replied, cognizant of the fact that while Blaine had been in a good place at Dalton when they'd met, that reprieve had come at the cost of some very difficult years beforehand. He then gave Blaine a small, watery smile as he picked up the phone once more and stared at the screen. "Maybe this will help make it easier for two other boys so that they don't have to go through what we did to get here."

Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurt's temple, then reached over him to the table at the far side of the couch. He returned to his seat and placed a small box of tissues on his lap. He took two out of the box and handed one to Kurt. Without another word, Kurt snuggled into Blaine's side and tapped the screen to replay the video again.

 _A/N: I'm not on Tumblr, so if you like this and think it's worth it, please do whatever it is you do to let black-john-lennon know about my attempt to fill this lovely prompt. Be kind to yourselves and to one another._


End file.
